Moving Laws

Lola’s Rules of Relocation.

I’ve moved a lot over my adult life.  It’s easy to forget how many times, but I’ve been a licensed driver in Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, New Jersey, Ohio (multiple times) and Virginia.  Over time, I’ve learned a thing or two (I hope).

The Rules of Relocation

  1. The previous holder of your new telephone number will have left a string of debts all over the city.
  2.  Something will break. Usually it will be an item of greater sentimental than monetary value.  It will never, ever be the item you most want destroyed (Curse you noisy infant toy).
  3. Your new residence will feature a radical difference in closet size.
  4. You will discover you have way over-bought some health/personal care item.  In my case, it was mouthwash, but I also found two bars of soap left over from the prior move’s over-buy.
  5. If you used professional packers, thee will be a brief, glorious period where the labeling of boxes makes sense.  It will last approximately 15 minutes. I recommend using this time to wisely re-label all remaining boxes.
  6. Your new driver’s license photo will be worse than the last one, unless you’re moving to Georgia.  The DMV there knows how to make you look good.  I have yet to see a bad photo on a Georgia license.
  7. You will find something you thought lost in a previous move–as well as the two replacement versions you acquired.
  8. You will realize you need a new and much bigger bookcase.
  9. You have the perfect excuse to try out every restaurant that delivers–until the credit card bill arrives.
  10. As soon as you empty the last box, you will be asked to relocate again.  DELAY UNPACKING THIS BOX AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!

Did I miss anything?  Let me know in the comments.

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4 thoughts on “Moving Laws

  1. Be sure to label that lastbox is labeled as “misc. junk we will probably never need again” , and not “old tax records we would need if we are audited”

  2. I don’t believe that even Georgia could make me look good on a DMV photo. Oh, and Lola, don’t forget that none of your old curtains will fit any of your new windows.

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